If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
Radio, which was a much better medium than television will ever be, was easy and pleasant to listen to. Your mind filled automatically with images.
I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don't happen.
Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.
Sloppy language leads to sloppy thought, and sloppy thought to sloppy legislation.
You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.
Teaching is an art and a profession requiring years of training.
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
Why are sex and violence always linked? I'm afraid they'll blur together in people's minds - sexandviolence - until we can't tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, "The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex."
I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.
I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.
I think we live in an age of increasing mediocrity.
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
Depression - it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven't been in it, you can say you can imagine it all you like. But it's truly different.
It's not always easy to identify your own voice. It comes with time.
Great humorists are great insulters.
The idea that hunting is one against one is ludicrous. It's one animal versus the hunter, the manufacturer of the rifle, the bullet maker, the designer and manufacturer of the telescopic sight, the auto manufacturer who made the car the hunter got to the edge of the wild in, the maker of his waterproof shoes, the various manufacturers of his mittens, glasses, overcoat - and that's only the beginning of the list. The "sportsman" who shoots an animal should then make a speech, like the actor who wins an Oscar does, thanking the multitudes behind the scenes who made this "victory" possible.
My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
I always wanted to live in a haunted house.
The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that's long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.
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