Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed.
Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
Flattery won't hurt you if you don't swallow it.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
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