Pull yourself together' is seldom said to anyone who can.
Few of us write great novels; all of us live them.
The three horrors of modern life - talk without meaning, desire without love, work without satisfaction.
Courage can't see around corners but goes around them anyway.
Don't be yourself - be someone a little nicer.
Flesh goes on pleasuring us, and humiliating us, right to the end.
The time to begin most things is ten years ago.
Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.
It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.
The know-nothings are, unfortunately, seldom the do-nothings.
Tragedy isn't getting something, or failing to get it; it's losing something you already have.
We can never understand other people's motives, nor their furniture.
For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.
The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried.
When a man falls in love, he wants to go to bed. When a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it.
We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs.
The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.
Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.
If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday.
Minor vices lead to major ones, but minor virtues stay put.
Every now and then you run across radiantly attractive people and you're delighted to find they adore you, till you realize that they adore just about everybody - and that's what's made them radiantly attractive.
In life, as in restaurants, we swallow a lot of indigestible stuff just because it comes with the dinner.
We are never more self-righteous than when giving up what we should have shunned all along.
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.
The trouble with women is men; the trouble with men, men.
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