PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.
Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".
REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
Least said is soon disavowed.
TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
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